Several years ago, Snoop Dogg announced he would be a recording “VoiceSkin” for the TomTom GPS system. Since then, there have been dozens of celebrities that have followed in his footsteps. Some are instant classics, like Dennis Hopper, Burt Reynolds, Mr.T, Kitt from Knight Rider, Eddie Izzard, Homer Simpson and Darth Vader. Then you have Gary Busey and Flavor Flav, which are perplexing to say the least. At any rate, here are 10 celebrities that would make terrific choices for your cars GPS audio. Hopefully Fran Drescher and Gilbert Godfried aren’t reading, although that would be an excellent way to prank your friends/get out of carpool duty!
Is there anyone better at narrating? No one does it better than him. Getting lost would not be a problem, as his soothing voice would comfort us through anything. The real question here is how has he not done one yet?
It would be near impossible to not get to where you are going if Sean Connery were giving you directions. Like you’re not going to listen to him and obey everything he says.
R. Lee Emery
Originally hired as a technical adviser on the set of Full Metal Jacket, R. Lee Emery wasn’t supposed to see any screen time. Once Stanley Kubrick saw an instructional video filled with his brilliant insults, he was sold. He was even allowed to improvise on set and write his own dialogue, something that Kubrick pretty much never allowed. A GPS with his voice would be perfect for people who might need a little more motivation following directions.
The NFL legend would let you know exactly where you need to go, while explaining the finer points in driving. “You see, by turning the wheel left you will make a left turn every time.” Add in some crowd cheering when you take off from and reach your destination.
Edward James Olmos
The captain of the Battlestar Galactica may not always make the best choices, but you can bet your bottom dollar that you’ll be going somewhere every 33 minutes. If Edward James Olmos wouldn’t do it, it would be just as great to get Michael Hogan, the actor who portrayed Saul Tigh, one of the most interesting conflicted characters on the show.
Michael C. Hall
This would be perfect for when you need to pick up your “dark passengers.” Not to ever be used on a date, under any circumstances.
Samuel L. Jackson
You’ve seen him in classic movies like Pulp Fiction and Jurassic Park delivering some of the best lines in Hollywood history. This would only be worth it if it was rated at least R. “Turn right again! Turn right one more time, I dare you, I double dare you!”
Ideally, this would be the voice of most of the computer interfaces from Star Trek. Unfortunately the woman behind the voice of the computer, Gene Roddenberry’s wife, Majel Barrett, passed away in 2008. The next best thing would be a GPS that constantly plays the hum of the warp core engine and is voiced by Sir Patrick Stewart. “Set course, engage!” Come to think of it, George Takei would also make an excellent choice. Maybe he can be convinced.
Not sure if this one is just a great idea, or the greatest idea. Not only does Christopher Walken have one of the most unique and recognizable voices in Hollywood, he also has a great sense of humor. If you’re not sold, just check out one of the greatest SNL skit’s ever, featuring Walken as the Bruce Dickinson.
There would be so much honor and melodramatic dignity in this it could be a distraction. There would be honor in every place you drove. “One does not simply reverse direction… but you must find a way.”